Monday, March 18, 2024

LIFE'S LIKE A MOVIE: BACHELOR PARTY (1984)

  

Life's Like a Movie: Bachelor Party (1984) When unwelcome memories from my teenage years suddenly resurface like some long dormant disease, they're usually of something really stupid or immature I did back in the day. Not so this time around, though. Perhaps spurred on by this scene in Bachelor Party which I recently caught again on cable, I have as of late been plagued by recollections of the time a girlfriend's concerned father took me to the side for a very similar mano a mano conversation.

In language a bit gentler than what plays out in the movie, "dad" explained that even though he did like me for the most part, it was just a fact that I would never amount to much, was completely unsuitable for his little girl (or anyone else for that matter), and it would be a cold day in Hell before he allowed things to go any further with his daughter than they already had. He did this twice. And yes, being both a smartass and a movie obsessed nut even at that age, each time I was absolutely biting my tongue so as not to blurt out Tom Hanks' closing line about applying myself and becoming a changed person by the end of lunch.

The sad fact is, though, I believed him. For reasons I won't go into, I was pretty down on myself at the time and was more than willing to accept this man's assessment that I was a loser unfit for serious human companionship. So, to avoid causing his family grief, I played the bad guy and broke things off with his daughter, never mentioning these conversations to her. She cursed me then and, if she ever bothers to think of me at all, probably still does to this day. It happens.

As far as bad memories go, it's nowhere near the top, but it's irritating to have it pop up nevertheless. You know, there's a train of thought that the devil loves us to dwell on the past because such a mindset is in opposition to the way God views things. God sees us through the lens of eternity; He sees our past, present, and future as one whole. To God, we're not just the present sum of our past experiences, but also of what we will evolve into over time. And if any changes are needed along the way, he doesn't expect it all to happen by the end of lunch, which is good to know.

Sunday, March 17, 2024

DAILY CALL SHEET: MARCH 17, 2024


Night Screams (1987) So-so slasher in which asylum escapees terrorize a high school jock's house party. While the film has its charms for aficionados of the genre, it's ultimately a slog. Put it this way, you know you're in for a rough time when a significant amount of Night Scream's running time is eaten up by its characters watching other movies on a television, and you quickly realize you'd rather be watching whatever it is they are instead of watching Night Screams itself.

TIL: For a more creepy story full of night screams, try Exodus 12 where the Israelites huddled in their homes at midnight, listening while the Lord struck down the firstborn of every human and and animal in the area. Or as the Bible puts it, "there was loud wailing throughout Egypt, for there was not a house without its dead." Yeah, Passover has its eerie side.

I HAVE SOME NOTES: More jumbled jottings from my daily Scripture readings. If you want smarter stuff, go with the Fr. Mike Schmitz & Ascension Press podcast Bible in a Year.




Saturday, March 16, 2024

DAILY CALL SHEET: MARCH 15, 2024


Nightmare (1981) Madman George is pronounced cured, but immediately picks up his knives again following his release from the asylum. Arriving in Florida, George begins knocking off anyone associated with single mom Susan and her suspiciously George-like son, C.J. You know, when not enveloped by the haze of nostalgia, most slashers don't really live up to their reputations. Not this wretched thing, though. It's just as remembered;  brutal, dark, and grimy enough to give even Maniac a run for its money.

TIL: Care for the insane goes back to at least the temples of ancient Egypt, but it was with the advent of the Christian era that actual asylums began to take shape. The French historian Ducange notes that the first mention of a morotrophium, or home for lunatics, comes from fourth century Constantinople where the church was also helping found general hospitals.

I HAVE SOME NOTES: Jotted down thoughts (well, thoughts for me anyway) on my daily Scripture readings.




Monday, March 11, 2024

DAILY CALL SHEET: MARCH 11, 2024


The Destroyers (1986) Sort of a Roadhouse vibe, but rather than a super-competent studly bouncer, this new guy in town is a semi-competent somewhat studly Vietnam vet who must call on his old war buddies to combat the evil weed farmers who killed his former commander. You will absolutely not make this movie your regular Saturday night thing, but for a typical Tubi time waster, it's fun enough for a one off viewing.

TIL: Founded in 1935, The Catholic War Veterans of the United States eventually became the first religious organization to receive a congressional charter in recognition of their mission to serve the needs of veterans. The Immaculate Conception Church in Astoria, New York has been designated as their National Shrine.

I HAVE SOME NOTES: More memo pad musings on my daily Scripture readings.




Monday, March 04, 2024

DAILY CALL SHEET: MARCH 4, 2024



Panther Squad (1984) Inexplicably clad in two sizes too small leather fetish fashion for the entire film, Sybil Danning leads an all-female mercenary team to rescue an astronaut kidnapped by environmentalist wackos. The action scenes look like they filmed the actors practicing their fight choreography and then decided, eh, good enough, no need to do it for real. For those who thought French film was just about Jean-Luc Godard and Jerry Lewis, may I introduce the mind-boggling oeuvre of Pierre Chevalier.

TIL: France's most famous fighting female was, of course, Joan of Arc, whose own fashion choice was one of the few reasons given by the English for her execution. This was despite the fact that St. Thomas Aquinas himself wrote that women might wear men's clothing “without sin on account of some necessity, either in order to hide oneself from enemies, or through lack of other clothes, or for some similar motive."


Now Showing at a Blog Near You: My latest for Aleteia is a review of "Cabrini," a faith-based film even a surprising number of secular critics seem to like.

I HAVE SOME NOTES: For better or worse, more scribbled down musings on my daily Scripture readings.




Friday, March 01, 2024

DAILY CALL SHEET: MARCH 1, 2024

 

Phantom Town (1999) To come to the aid of their missing parents, a goofy group of teenage siblings must brave an old western ghost town. However, something weird beneath the ground doesn't want them snooping around. Rated PG horror outing is not quite as traumatizing as an 80's kids movie (I mean, what could be?), but it's still gooier than you might expect. Basically Goosebumps without having to pay R.L. Stine royalties.

TIL: According to the Catechism, "The fourth commandment reminds grown children of their responsibilities toward their parents. As much as they can, they must give them material and moral support in old age and in times of illness, loneliness, or distress." I suppose trying to save them from evil supernatural goop qualifies.

I HAVE SOME NOTES: Continuing to fill my notepad with random thoughts on my daily Scripture readings.




Sunday, February 25, 2024

DAILY CALL SHEET: FEBRUARY 25, 2024

 

The Dead Talk Back (1957) Do they, though? You wouldn't know it from this excruciatingly slow non-thriller about a scientist who claims, but never proves, to have a radio that lets him speak with the dead. He does use the dubious device to help solve a crossbow murder, so I guess that's something. Even if you're one of the few fans of the tell, don't show technique of filmmaking, this blab-fest will defeat you.

TIL: In the Church, Tradition is all about letting the dead talk. As G.K. Chesterton put it, "Tradition refuses to submit to the small and arrogant oligarchy of those who merely happen to be walking about. All democrats object to men being disqualified by the accident of birth; tradition objects to their being disqualified by the accident of death."

I HAVE SOME NOTES: Continuing to doodle my fourth trip through Fr. Mike Schmitz & Ascension's Bible in a Year.